Dolly Parton-PMS Blues

PMS BLUES Dolly Parton/ Girl chat only/This just might be too much info for some:)

I am wide awake unable to sleep. Thoughts of one thing and one thing only captivate my mind. My curious husband cuddles close seeing that I am not my usual sleepy self begins to ask what in the world I could be thinking about at this hour. I am sure I gave him an answer he did not expect or possibly want; But the answer I gave him consisted of one word......one fabulous word "CHOCOLATE!!!!" So, it was that moment I was enlightened that tonight is what I call "PMS Eve." Yes, I have a fever and the only thing that can cure this fever is not more cowbell.... but Ghiradelli dark bittersweet chocolate chips. Which thankfully, I do have a few in the refrigerator. I can generally go all month without eating chocolate or really anything sweet at all. I am boring like that and usually try to eat a clean almost psycho healthy diet. But there are those times when physically there is NOTHING and I mean NOTHING that helps a girl like chocolate can. I need to hear some amens from some of the sista's out there who have been there and know what I mean. There are times I believe we need to support each other when life is not easy. It is time, I think, we should be honest with each other, transparent and open up about these things. For some women this topic may be really uncomfortable to talk openly about. However, these are real struggles that impact relationships, mood, emotions, energy, work, and how we feel about ourselves physically. All of us on some level or another deal with PMS or hormone issues and why should we all suffer silently? I will be candid and honest there have been times what I really would like to do is punch the daylights out of any one that says that women make this stuff up and that it is all in our head. ......( ahhh that makes me so mad!)

It truly amazes me from the ages of 12-55(more or less) most of our female lives we are dealing with the impact of hormones. Either ours, or from other women, our own teenager children, and let's not forget the hormones of the men in our lives ( which is not always such a bad thing):). I guess there could be a small remnant of women out there who aren't affected much by hormones but I haven't had the privilege to know them. Just think about this question: Is there really a time in our girl life that these wonderful messengers neglect to leave there signature on us? From adolescence, teen years, all through our 20's, 30's, 40's and yes 50's, pregnancy, post pregnancy, PMS or PMDD, Premenopausal, menopausal then I guess after all that is over then we die.

For me, personally this has been a long battle since I was 11 years old. For years, I have fought severe endometriosis which I have had 5 surgeries and have been diagnosed with the supercharged form of PMS called PMDD(premenstrual dysmorphic disorder) or in laymen's terms you could simply refer to it as "PMS on crack." Within the past 5 months I have seen a dramatic decrease in my pain and symptoms. Thank you God for your healing and Bio identical hormone treatment!!!

I would really like to hear from the ladies out there describing how you cope with the "PMS BLUES." This could be practical or funny stuff. Please let me know I am not alone in this...For me What helps is: chocolate, progesterone cream, prayer( lots of it) and last but not least a bit of humor. Did I mention CHOCOLATE??? Oh yea I did. Anyway I will leave the rest to Dolly. Her song says it all...I have a feeling I will be playing this a few times in the next few days. Oh yeah that chocolate was so good!!! Be sure to share some of your thoughts I want to hear them.

Love,

angie

Universal language of pain/Earthen Vessels

With the many diverse cultures, languages, races, religions on this Earth one experience remains constant within the human race. Every person in the course of their life will endure pain. It may be in the form of emotional or physical; We all have and will have the common experience of some form of suffering. For some, the pain experience is an occasional occurrence or annoyance. For others, it is a daily battle that not only wars with the body but also against the soul. One, that if fought in your own strength, could easily leave you hopeless, embittered, distrustful and full of resentment.

For the few of you who don't know, I have been living with a chronic severe back pain for the past five years. Within this past year the pain has progressed to the point that I can't no longer just grin and bear it, ignore it or even fake it. With great emotional hesitation, I have recently resigned from my job as an ICU nurse due to this issue. Living with chronic pain has affected my everyday life in so many ways. Everyday.

I am so blessed to have the most patient, understanding wonderful husband in the entire world. He is such a treasure to me words can not express. I don't really understand totally why God has allowed this "thorn" to remain even after countless times of pleading and asking him to remove it. I do however, know I have learned innumerable treasures and have experienced His deep tender benevolence during times of desperation in a deeper way than I could have ever have known because of my need for Him. You bet, I am still holding out for healing.

The following is a poem I wrote while experiencing one of the most intense extended periods of physical suffering. This blog post is in no means intended to be a downer! It is my intent to be truthful,real and hopefully encourage anyone who is desperate for healing and/or miracle and is in the process of waiting.

Earthen Vessel

When all in life that brings status, recognition or praise

is stripped away..

When enduring pain turns into suffering unable to be stilled

by modern medicine or comforted by the human hand.

When we come to the understanding we are mere men;

Dependent on the provision, direction and healing of

a merciful, loving and powerful God.

It is in that quiet place of wholehearted surrender

We lay it all at The Master's Feet.

It is with steadfast devotion, we have the chance

to participate in a glimpse of His sufferings.

It is with the same hope we have the promise of

The Resurrection

To be changed, set free,healed,restored, made new again.

But for me,the greatest of these, to finally see

The One who gave all to set me free.

To touch the face that brought me through this life

To hold the hands of The One who thoughtfully formed me.

To wrap myself in the arms that carried me when my

strength was no more.

To Look in to His eyes and sing Him a new song

as I have done so many times before.

Until That Great Day, I wait....

Longing for Him, breathing in this jar of clay.

Seeking daily with the hope to find His will

Listening for the voice that whisper springs of life to my soul

Fill me Lord, more of your living Word!

Trusting His promises will never fail.

Knowing He is good, even when life's experiences are not.

Desperate above all, only one thing I need

is to be even closer to my LORD.

Who may I show your love while waiting on you today?

Knowing it is a time such as this, you chose for your servant.

Hoping with the passing of each day I will look more like you,

love more like you.

This is the offering this broken earthen vessel has to bring.

A vessel with the hope will be rebuilt to resemble her King.

-Angie Schumaker

The God of All Comfort

There is hope in knowing that no matter what crosses our path we have the promise that God himself will comfort us in ALL circumstances. If we are his children there is nothing we face while here on this earth too big for our God. It has been asked so many times before how can a loving God allow suffering, hurt, disappointment, sickness and even death to come into our lives? Some ask how can God allow an innocent child to be diagnosed with a terminal illness or the faithful young mother to be killed in a car wreck coming home from church; Leaving behind a husband and young children? We have all read about tragic events presently in the news concerning Haiti or experienced personal sorrow. There are times we might ask God why only to find the answers we come up with seem few. In our humanity, it is perplexing when we try to use reason and logic to rationalize why particular circumstances take place. I know that I can’t even come close to being able to explain the reasons why events happen. I have to believe in those circumstances that God, the creator of the universe is much larger than I am and only He has the answers to those questions. His purposes are greater than my knowledge and understanding. However, I do have some answers from His word when it comes to what to do when you or someone you love is in the midst of a storm.
First of all, God’s word is living and active ( Hebrews 4:12). I can not tell you how many times in my life while experiencing a painful trial I flipped open my Bible and there right on the page the exact word I needed for that particular moment. Or a time when I read a verse that changed the way I viewed my circumstance and made an impact on the way I made a decision. God’s Word is complete truth, comfort, enduring and eternal. For the believer it is our weapon, our sword in battle ( Eph 6:17).
Prayer is an essential tool in everyday life. When things are going great or in times of great need prayer is crucial. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective (James 5:16b). Prayer offered in faith changes circumstances and brings understanding in situations as in accordance with the will of God.
Seek God’s will for your life and situation. Surrender to him in obedience all of you including your circumstances. One of my all time favorite chapters is Romans 12. This chapter urges us to become living sacrifices for God’s purposes. By becoming living sacrifices, not conforming to the pattern of this world and renewing our mind it is then where we are able to test and approve what God’s will is.
Stand firm. Endure the trial with perseverance. James 1:12 says, “ Blessed is the man ( or woman) who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, He will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him.”…Yes! that is our future hope.
Trust that God himself will comfort you in all trouble.
2 Corinthians 1:3 Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God. For just as the sufferings of Christ flow over into our lives, so also through Christ our comfort overflows.
We have a hope beyond our life here in this present age. In this present age we are surrounded by suffering, illness, painful situations and death. This has come into our lives as a direct result of the fall of man. (Genesis 3). Don’t you know the God of compassion looks at us and hurts for us. He does…And he has given us an eternal hope through his precious son Jesus. He conquered death for us. It is God’s plan to restore the creation that includes us!!
2 Corinthians 4:16 Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our Light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.
See what is to come!
Revelation 21:4 He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, For the old order of things has passed away. He who is seated on the throne said, ” I am making everything new."

Refuge

We say the Lord is our refuge. Have you really stopped to think about that? How many times have I encountered a dilemma, problem or crisis only to try to solve it myself. Sometimes, I feel as if I am a two year old determined to do it MYSELF and many times saying NO!!! Where do we turn in times of grief, loss, suffering, or difficulty? Do we turn to our own wisdom, experience or the opinions of others? Or do we run to the one who made us? The one who knows our very being and the one whom we were created by? In my life, I have done both ran to living God or tried with all of my might to solve the problem myself only to fail. I can say from not only my experience but also watching the experiences of others the only place to run in the midst of trails is in the hands of the Lord. Not only should we give it to him but we must leave it with Him. The question we must ask is this: Do I really trust God? Do I trust a God that is unseen to my natural eye? Can I believe that if I surrender my life to His perfect will regardless of my desires, goals or ambitions that He will be faithful to carry me in the midst of my suffering, pain or trial. I can confidently say that in the last 20 years I have devoted my life to the one who gave all for me NEVER has His mercies failed me. The answer to my problems may have not been what I would have chosen and it rarely is; but His words are true and will stand firm forever. I encourage you who are enduring a time of waiting, suffering, grief or loss to give it All to our Lord. Seek his perfect will for your life and serve him until your last breath.

My precious grandmother whom I have adored my entire life left this earth last month at Christmas time. I can say my grief at times still overcomes me to the point I cry out to the Lord to help me live through it. I miss her so much. I miss being able to just pick up the phone and hear her sweet voice even though usually she couldn't hear mine. I am comforted in knowing when my walk on this earth is through and I take my last breath I will be greeted joyfully by her and others whom I have loved who has also shared this same devotion to our Lord. Our Life on this earth is but a breath but our home with our creator is an eternity. I chose while I am here to run to my refuge it is in Him I can experience true peace.

God is Our refuge and strength,and ever-present help in trouble_ Psalm 46:1

Lazy Days

For those of you who don't know this is the K-9 of the house JOJO.

He is our 8 year old schnauzer who thinks he is king. I can honestly say

I have never loved another dog on this earth besides him.

JOJO became an outside dog shortly after Daniel (age 7) was born.

To be honest after Daniel was born I did not spend much time with him.

He Spent his days outside with Hank our Dachshund until Hank died on Christmas day 2007.

When Hank died JOJO went into a depression. He would not eat and he would howl as if he was really grieving the loss of his best friend. At that time we decided to bring Jo back inside

with us. He has been ever so thankful ever since. There has not been one day that has past that

he does not follow me everywhere throughout the house, beg to take Daniel to school or when I am sick stay by my side until I am well. I am thankful we found him and he has found us. Above all I am also glad we decided to make him an inside dog. Did I mention he also smiles? God, I love this animal...

Paralyzed by Fear

This picture of me cracks me up. The look on my face is priceless. You might as well say I look like "a deer in headlights" and trust me that would be true. If you take a peek of what is sitting on my lap you might understand why. I will not deny the fact that I hate snakes. I know that some people have them as pets and that is fine if you are into that sort of thing. I prefer animals that have fur!! Daniel and CJ were playing with this creature and thought it would be hilarious to place this snake on my lap. To my surprise I did not scream, I did not yell, cry or throw this snake, I surely did not laugh. I was actually stunned, paralyzed by fear.

How many times have you done something or should have done something only to be paralyzed by fear? We all probably have our own memories as kids; missing our lines in the 4th grade play, or the time you froze up when someone asked you out on a date. My question is: What paralyzes you now? We are all created to live our life on this earth for God's purpose.

There are things that he may call us to do that are totally out of our comfort zone. If it is He that has called us to the task, then He will give us what we need to complete it. How many times have you had to fight those taunting thoughts that say you can't, who are you to do this, you're not equipped for this or you're not good enough. These thoughts or beliefs are aimed at one goal and that is to paralyze you with fear and to prevent you from moving forward in what you are called to do. Those damaging thoughts or lies act as a venom aimed to paralyze you and in the end kill your purpose. We are created for much more than to be paralyzed. We were created to run in the freedom, confidence and the strength of our God.

Isaiah 41:10

So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.